My Life as of now!

Have you every just sat back and asked what the hell! Well I have been for the last 4 months, my life has been in a downward spiral, and it seems to be tumbling faster and faster. I feel like I’m screaming, and NO one hears me!

I just got a new job now in January, and I should be so damn excited, I mean I am don’t get me wrong, but at the same time they took my boyfriend out of work due to a motorcycle accident he was in years ago that left him some what disabled, and now he is at the point where is body is saying “ok enough I can’t hang it’s time to chill”. For anyone who knows Scot he is a work~a~holic so this has been really hard on him, he has been on his own since he was 17, and now he is relying on his girlfriend to pay the bills and be the primary bread winner well that’s hard for him, and I’m sure it is that’s what the man is suppose to do support his family. Anyway’s he is not and it’s driving him nuts there for he makes sure to drive me nuts.

Now it has really hit us we are completely BROKE, BROKE I tell ya, and it sucks! Our bank is completely empty for the first time in years, actually this is the first time since I have been with Scot that we have ever really been broke, and let me tell you it is not fun. I feel like I did when I was with my ex living on 20 bucks a week with 4 kids. But that is neither here nor there so we won’t bring up the dreaded devil ex!

Now Scot feels that he needs to jump out and get a job and not just a job the first job that is available no matter what it may be! What scares me the most is that he was told by the Dr that until he has the Hip replacement his leg is completely unstable and he can do more damage to it, and offered him SSI. Well if you now the process of getting on SSI it’s not easy, it is actually a big pain in the butt and you don’t receive enough to really live on. So I’m trying to keep Scot thinking positive and I keep re-ensuring him that everything is going to be ok, but I don’t think it is. We now have $2 to our name because we had to give Scot’s son $5 for his lunch. Ok now as I was driving to work this morning I’m thinking ok I have 1 day till payday but is my check going to cover the bills we have already eliminated 2 cell phone bills which was Scot’s and his oldest son’s Evan’s, and kept mine on because we do not have a land line, but with my child support being taken out of my check ‘long story will explain later’ my check is hardly anything. Grrrrr will it ever end? Will it ever get easy? I don’t know all I know is I need a day at the spa, oh yeah wait I’m poor so that’s out of the question. Oh well I’m sure something good is bound to happen sooner or later. RIGHT!!!!