I feel bad for Scot because he is out of work which is the main part of why we are so broke, but he is disabled and is unable to work at this point. He goes to a specialist on Monday and I hope they decide to do the surgery ASAP so he can either get on SSI or go back to work. I know he is feeling like he is worthless right now, and I don't want him to feel that way because he helped me while I was out of work and in school. Now I feel like it is my turn to help him, but I just don't have the mends.
Now we have another mouth to feed, and I just feel like I'm getting NO WHERE FAST! GRRR so frustrated! The thing that makes me so upset is that I have a very wealthy family, and when I ask for help which is hardly ever, I get turned down. Now if one of my cousins ask for help or need a new car they get it with no questions asked, they all drive new high end cars and I drive a falling apart jeep that is running on its last leg, and to top that off its not even mine its Scot's.
I have just excepted God into life, and my Mom keeps telling me that my life will get better. I just wish I would go to bed with a shitty life and wake up with a better life. I'm not saying I'm not blessed, because I am very much so when it comes in the form love, there is plenty of love between my kids and I and Scot. I know life comes with struggles, and I have accepted that, but will I ever get a break. I just decided that I am going to find that second job, but I already feel overwhelmed as it is. Scot is refusing for me to get that second job, but I have no other option my credit cards are maxed out, I don't have the money to add a loan bill. I just don't know what to do! I wish I had a magic lamp to rub and make my 3 wishes, but I don't and I will never have one so I need to figure out a new plan.
It is so hard to work and concentrate on my job when all I can do is worry about if I am going to have a house for kids to live in. At the rate its going now I will be homeless in no time. I guess I Should not say that! Now I am not sure if I am going to be able to go to church on Saturday with my friend because I don't have the gas to get there. How sad is that I cant even go to church because I don't have money for gas. I swear this is bad and it seems to be getting worse.HELP!!!!!!
Girl believe me I know exactly how you feel. I too have been there, having the feeling that the doors are closing up on you and there is no way out of debt! Pray, have faith and God will help you, I know he will. Pray every night and he will listen. Like always, Luv ya!
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