~My New Dilemma~
I got a call from my Dr last night, and I have mixed feelings on how I should feel. Am I scared, should I be? Am I scared of the surgery, or is
it the fact that I will know longer be complete. Will I be less the Woman I was before now that I can not have babies. Maybe I should look at it as I am going to finally feel somewhat better.I'm just not sure how I am suppose to feel. Do I ever know how to feel about anything! I don't think I do, I think I am somewhat a Drama Queen, I really hate to say that about myself, but sometimes I just am. Once again it's just the way I work. When in all reality I should just kick back and take life as it comes, b
ut know I have to over analyze EVERYTHING. I end up making things worse than they really are. I don't know why I do this, its not like I got a call last night, and was told that I was going to be put on a heart and lung bypass machine, NO I was told I need to have a hysterectomy, that's it, but here I am acting like it's the end of the world. I am also so mad at my mother's genes, I am being told that the reason I have endometrosis is because my Mom did as 
did her Mom, thanks Mom and grandma whats next diabetes, or better yet heart disease.I guess i should not think like that, but I do and I will. This is me, this is what I do obsess about everything, this is my OCD once again taking over as usual.Enough with the freaking out, my new outlook on life is now going to be positive. From today on I am going to remind myself about the positive out come of having this surgery. Lets see how this goes.
it the fact that I will know longer be complete. Will I be less the Woman I was before now that I can not have babies. Maybe I should look at it as I am going to finally feel somewhat better.I'm just not sure how I am suppose to feel. Do I ever know how to feel about anything! I don't think I do, I think I am somewhat a Drama Queen, I really hate to say that about myself, but sometimes I just am. Once again it's just the way I work. When in all reality I should just kick back and take life as it comes, b
ut know I have to over analyze EVERYTHING. I end up making things worse than they really are. I don't know why I do this, its not like I got a call last night, and was told that I was going to be put on a heart and lung bypass machine, NO I was told I need to have a hysterectomy, that's it, but here I am acting like it's the end of the world. I am also so mad at my mother's genes, I am being told that the reason I have endometrosis is because my Mom did as 
did her Mom, thanks Mom and grandma whats next diabetes, or better yet heart disease.I guess i should not think like that, but I do and I will. This is me, this is what I do obsess about everything, this is my OCD once again taking over as usual.Enough with the freaking out, my new outlook on life is now going to be positive. From today on I am going to remind myself about the positive out come of having this surgery. Lets see how this goes.
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