Shoes

So I went through my closet last night looking for one certain pair of shoes, just one! I come out of there with 56 pairs. 56 pairs can you believe it. I was in pure shock, well not really, but I think Scot was. I had to tell him I couldn't believe that I found that many shoes in my closet, and most of them are in the boxes never touched. They were just so dusty, but here is the go getter when I opened them they all had the receipts in them. So Scot gave me orders, (so he thinks that he gave me orders, and I just let him think that sometimes, makes him feel like a big Strong man), that I was to go through the shoes and pick ONLY the ones I will wear, yeah OK like I'm actually going to depart with my shoes, so what if I don't wear them now at some point I will need them and they will be there waiting for me, waiting for the time when I will place my foot in them and march off happily! He He that sounds funny like I have some weird love affair with my damn shoes. Maybe I do, maybe that's why I buy so many pairs "I'll never tell" anyhow I guess what I'm trying to say is what the hell was I thinking buying all those shoes. Guess I'm some kind of hoarder. Lets see I'm already OCD so why not add hoarding to the mix.

Ignorance

Ignorance

I have went my whole life knowing some of the most ignorant people. It never really seemed to bother me before, but the older I get the more and more bugged I get with people. My boyfriend tells me that I just don't like people at all, and that he thinks I was suppose to be some mythical creature of some sort whatever that means, not sure if he means that in a bad way or not. Anyways who cares exactly what he means. OK back to the whole ignorance thing. So I went to the store last night and I was paying for my items and I had given the girl $10.40 and my cost was $6.40 well she puts my money in the drawer and tells me to have a nice day, and I asked are you going to give me my change and explained I gave her $10.40 and she owes my change. She looks at me funny and says "remember you gave me exact change I watched count out the 40 cents", and I said yes you did but I gave you a ten dollar bill. So she has to go get her supervisor because she can't  get the drawer open to give me my 4 bucks. Finally the supervisor gets there and opens the drawer, and the girl then proceeds to pull out the calculator.GRRR what the hell I tell her 10-6=4, and you know what the idiot has to say OK let my check with the supervisor to make sure that is right. I went in for 1 item and spent over 40 minutes in the line because she was so stupid she couldn't even hold up 10 fingers and take away six of those fingers to see what she got, I mean  DAMN my 4yr old can do that. I tell ya, this is New Mexico!!!!

Payday!!!

OK what can I say! Not to much actually other than I get paid today!YAY!!! HeHe it sounds like I'm trying to make a rhyme, but I'm not just me crazy mind and the way it works! Anyways I get to cash my check and go pay bills and by tomorrow I will be flat broke again. I really hate this feeling. I feel like I'm getting know where and fast!

So Scot drove me to work today, and usually I get very happy because I do not have to walk the hill of death to and from the parking garage, but all I could think about was shit here goes all the gas in my tank . I know how stupid why worry about it, but damn I have never been this broke before. So I'm sitting there completely bugged because Scot decided to go the long way to avoid traffic on the freeway due to an accident, and all I can do is gaze at him like I wanna slap him up side the head. I'm thinking in my head what an idiot you know we have no money and hardly any gas and your wasting it. so by the time I get to work I am completely pissed off, he asks me what is the matter and I totally flip out, and go off on him. Then he explains why he did what he did which completely made sense! So now I'm looking like the IDIOT, and I'm even more bugged!Grr WHATEVER!

Then to top my morning off!!! I get into the office, and one of the girls starts in on are you going to buy a baby gift for one of the girls in our office! Here is the go getter the last two damn days I have been telling her I Have NO money and will not be participating in this. So she asks again this morning, Its like HELLO are you serious your asking me this, so I tell her I will but only because my Mom bought a gift for me to give her. But still sometimes I think some people are so brain dead!!! Just irritates me that people just do not listen at all. I guess people in this world are just self absorbed FREAKS, and don't care about any body's feelings, oh well I could go on and on how I hate people and they suck but I really need to start working now! Peace out to all the people who have half a brain!

My Life as of now!

Have you every just sat back and asked what the hell! Well I have been for the last 4 months, my life has been in a downward spiral, and it seems to be tumbling faster and faster. I feel like I’m screaming, and NO one hears me!

I just got a new job now in January, and I should be so damn excited, I mean I am don’t get me wrong, but at the same time they took my boyfriend out of work due to a motorcycle accident he was in years ago that left him some what disabled, and now he is at the point where is body is saying “ok enough I can’t hang it’s time to chill”. For anyone who knows Scot he is a work~a~holic so this has been really hard on him, he has been on his own since he was 17, and now he is relying on his girlfriend to pay the bills and be the primary bread winner well that’s hard for him, and I’m sure it is that’s what the man is suppose to do support his family. Anyway’s he is not and it’s driving him nuts there for he makes sure to drive me nuts.

Now it has really hit us we are completely BROKE, BROKE I tell ya, and it sucks! Our bank is completely empty for the first time in years, actually this is the first time since I have been with Scot that we have ever really been broke, and let me tell you it is not fun. I feel like I did when I was with my ex living on 20 bucks a week with 4 kids. But that is neither here nor there so we won’t bring up the dreaded devil ex!

Now Scot feels that he needs to jump out and get a job and not just a job the first job that is available no matter what it may be! What scares me the most is that he was told by the Dr that until he has the Hip replacement his leg is completely unstable and he can do more damage to it, and offered him SSI. Well if you now the process of getting on SSI it’s not easy, it is actually a big pain in the butt and you don’t receive enough to really live on. So I’m trying to keep Scot thinking positive and I keep re-ensuring him that everything is going to be ok, but I don’t think it is. We now have $2 to our name because we had to give Scot’s son $5 for his lunch. Ok now as I was driving to work this morning I’m thinking ok I have 1 day till payday but is my check going to cover the bills we have already eliminated 2 cell phone bills which was Scot’s and his oldest son’s Evan’s, and kept mine on because we do not have a land line, but with my child support being taken out of my check ‘long story will explain later’ my check is hardly anything. Grrrrr will it ever end? Will it ever get easy? I don’t know all I know is I need a day at the spa, oh yeah wait I’m poor so that’s out of the question. Oh well I’m sure something good is bound to happen sooner or later. RIGHT!!!!

Lay the F off!!!

I REALLY REALLY hate people who try to babysit me while I'm at work. Do your own damn job, and mind your own business. I mean honestly we answer phones for living, is that so hard!!! If I am not on a call maybe I'm doing something else! Are you that bored with your life you feel the need to watch mine? Or is it that your not doing your own damn job, and paying attention to mine I have one thing to say to you LAY THE F OFF!!! Thank you and have a goodnight!!!

The End!!!!

Hell I say Hell Part II

Ok so I'm not a bugged anymore, but as I posted my last blog one of my coworkers asked me "Hey they have a McDonalds Rap"! Why yes, Laura they do. So I figured I would post the lyrics for her... and it goes a little something like this~~~~


~~I need a double cheese burger and hold the lettuce
Don’t be frontin son — no seeds on the bun
We be up in this drive through order for twoI gots a cravin’ fo’ a numba nine like my shoe
We need some chicken up in here, in this hizzleFor rizzle my mizzle, extra salt on da frizzle
Doctor pepper my brothah, another for ya mothaDouble-double supah size and don’t forget the fries~~~ Hope this clears it up for ya Laura!!!!

HELL I SAY HELL!!!!

Well it's Monday, and I am back at this dreaded hell I call work. I actually like my job I just don't like a few of the people that I work with, who's name's I will not say! I hate complainers and people who think they just know everything.As you can prob tell it's only 11:20 am and I am already bitching! Well damn they pissed me off, and I have to vent RIGHT!. So here it is, I feel if you don't like your job get a new one, or do something about it, why make all the other people suffer because you made bad decisions in your life and you are nearly forty and sixty and your stuck with know where to go. It's just like those people who are close to retirement and they are working the drive-thru at McDonald's, OK, you shit your life away and now your just about to retire from a fast food drive-thru. Why would you waste your life away like that. I know I want my grand kids to say hey my grandma had this awesome job, not hey my grandma can sing the whole McDonald's Rap, I mean hello get a life. Anyways I guess my point is don't bitch to me because your old and under paid. It's a little to late!!!! Oh and by the way I don't work for McDonald's, just in case you were wondering.

What exactly is it???

I seem to ask myself this question allot lately "What exactly is it"? What exactly is WHAT!!! Grr I don't know and this is driving me nuts. I have so many questions with no answers, and the sad part of all of this is what if my kids ask me questions and I can't give them any answers! For example my 4 year old had her well child check yesterday, and they told us that her speech problem may be because she cant hear out of her right ear, and so she comes to me last night and asks why her ear does not work and really I did not have an answer, or at least one that was the truth. I did what every mother does and tries to comfort her child and make everything in their mind right, but really is this OK should we send our kids off with just a version of the truth so they don't get scared. Or should be straight forward with them and say hey you may be deaf in one ear, and oh by the way when you go see your Dr next week to get your toes and fingers painted while your asleep they are going to insert tubes in your ears and possibly an internal hearing aid that you will have the rest of your life. by the way you may be a little confused my 4 year old is having tubes placed in her ears and we told her that she was going to take a long nap and get her toe nails and finger nails painted. So know that we have that all cleared up, I have another question what if my daughter is deaf how will our life be? Will she live a normal life, will she have to be in special Ed, they did a IQ test and the Dr said she is highly intelligent and he don't want her in special Ed, but will schools put her there for a having a disability? WHO KNOWS, I sure don't!!!!